Friday, July 29, 2011

What's going on here?

I know many of you have questions about the flights, but I am not mentally prepared to discuss that right now. My blood pressure still skyrockets just thinking about it. So until I can process it all in my head you'll have to wait.

BUT..... What's going on here?

I am not a woman of fear. At least I like to think of myself that way. I am fairly strong and confident but something inside of me has changed not sure when, how or why but here goes.

Yesterday while out in Anchorage w/ my mom and K80 we went shopping. Seriously what's a group of girls gonna do when stuck somewhere with shops (lots of shops that don't exist within a few thousand miles of our home!)... We are wise though we're gonna get stuff we need. Not want, but need. Like new school shoes b/c we can't seem to find any decent one's for less than $150 in Okinawa. And shorts, remember I tried to shop online everyone is sold out. Not in Alaska, they had racks and racks and racks of shorts, exactly what we wanted on CLEARANCE!

Don't get me started at the Michaels I stepped into. So many new things to create and do... Mark if you are reading this no worries. I only bought a few things for the kids to make for their lockers. I didn't buy any other scrapbook or crafting items.... I promise. (If you don't know me that's a HUGE statement. I cannot go into a scrapbook/craft store and walk out w/o anything it's immoral, unethical and if it's a mom and pop shop it's un-American. I feel strongly that we need to support those shops more than the big box stores. (But that's a whole other blog post for another time far far away.) Bet you're wondering what this has to do w/ confidence. I'm getting there hold you horses.

We went into the Sportsmen’s store (it's like a BassPro but a lotta bit smaller!). When we walked in a man about 20+ stared at K80. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. This immediately sent me into mama bear syndrome. Did you read the story about the grizzly who attacked the 7 boys in Alaska last weekend... yeah I was raging like her inside! We walked around but my left eye never lost sight of this man. Guess what happened next. Yep, K80 had to tinkle. I could see the bathroom so I sent her a head, walked behind her so she wouldn't see me. You see, I'm building confidence and independence in her. She can't know I don't trust her to go to the bathroom. But it was "him" that I didn't trust. And I certainly didn’t want to her to see my concern for this man, but I’m not naive either! She's usually a quick trip to the bathroom; she didn't come out right away. My stupid left eye lost contact w/ the creepy man so I charge toward the bathroom to swing open the door and in a sweet voice with a loud boom yelled "Junior, you okay!" To hear her sweet reply was overwhelmingly calming... "Yep Mom!" followed by the thunderous flushing sound. She popped out washed her hands and we went on our way. I didn't allow her to leave my side again. My left eye us was permanently glued to the weirdo and I noticed while leaving the store his eyes were still fixated on my K80. I prayed intently for our safety the rest of the day.

Fast forward many hours. Mom left for her flight. I assume she made it because she did NOT come back to the room like we did yesterday morning. K80 and I watched TV, nothing on but Disney. She was a happy camper since we don't have that in channel at home. I played on FaceBook, returned some emails and just relaxed. We even ate some pie. We got take home desert and danggum was it super yummy! As the evening progressed it was time for bed. I tucked Junior in and headed to my bed. I couldn't relax. I suddenly felt all alone, on the ground floor of this hotel (we stayed here before our RV trip alone and felt perfectly fine) we could hear lots of people and commotion. It was unsettling.

I honestly cannot say the emotion I was feeling was fear, “God hasn’t given me a spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind. “ (2 Tim 1:7) It was uneasiness, not sure if it came from the afternoons events, but I began to cry and pray. Tears streaming down my face it hit me. I missed by boys, my Mark. I wasn’t scared for our safety (although I did pray a lot for that); I was lonely for my help-mate, my best friend. We’ve been apart a lot over these past several months (not to mention all his little trips and mini deployments here and there!) and I love having him around. I love living life WITH him by my side, he’s truly my best friend. He completes me. K80 couldn’t sleep, she climbed into my bed to find me crying and praying. We talked a bit, cuddled a lot and prayed together. We decided we missed our boys all 3 of ‘em. We can’t get home soon enough.

Today we are off to H20asis, an indoor waterpark here in Anchorage.

It was cheaper than anything else to do here and we shouldn’t go shopping anymore! The piggybank is let’s just say he’s….

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