Sunday, January 3, 2010

Can't believe...

I can't believe it's 2010. That means that my boys will turn 11 this year and my daughter 10. How can that be... seriously I still feel like an insecure 27 year old. Why 27... I don't know, when I was in my early 20's I had much confidence and wore it on my shirt sleeve. When I was 27 I was pregnant with the boys, and scared to the innards of my being. I was crazy in love with Mark, we were soooo naive yet so sure of ourselves in the parenting/marriage department. We had spiritually, emotionally and mentally grown so much since we had met and married, we hardly recognized our lives. Yet here we were, ready to have some babies. Everyone told us having children will change you forever. I didn't get it until the day they were born, but I sure do now. Since that glorious new year of 1999 the world has changed, we've changed, boy have we ever changed.

In so many ways we've grown become stronger, more independent and yet still lack confidence in ourselves. We have achieved many of the goals and aspirations we wrote down years ago; so why the lack of confidence? Why do I still feel so insecure. I heard this quote once by Ray Kroc "When you are green you are growing, when you are ripe you rot." I certainly don't feel like "I've arrived", but I also don't feel like I am growing to the depth I desire. I need to fertilize my foundation, my roots so to speak so that I can grow stronger and fuller. The key question is ... "How?"

It's been a while since I've had some goals, I've always had dreams. Goals are different. I think I would add to that quote above... "When you are green, you are growing because you have goals and a plan. When you are ripe, you just have dreams and you wither away because you have no plan."
I've set some goals and laid out my plans to see a harvest. I hope over the next several months you'll see the results of my actions... for I have an Action Plan!

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