Struggles

This year has been a difficult one. This past month has been an emotional struggle for me. I cannot pinpoint what the trigger is, let's just say it's been hard for me. This week in particular has been the hardest by far. I've don't ever recall a time in my life when I've not been in the Christmas spirit. I'm a huge kid at heart and love love love this time of the year. I love the shopping, the decorating, the baking, the parties, the wrapping of gifts. I love it all. This year it is not the same. I'm hurting and I don't know why. I've been doing my best to shove it deep down within me and put on the good Christian/mother/wife show. Honestly, my acting skills stink.

I've been praying a lot more than usual lately. Surrounding myself with positive encouraging women, and I'm still here in this funk. Then today cruising through Facebook I found this link.

My eyes already swollen with tears began to flow again. and again and again. I do not know this Marine family, but it really adds perspective on my life.

But I'm still in this funk, during this beautiful season of joy, Christ's birth, and I'm just here. My joy is hard to find to find right now. I've been Praising God through this storm and this season in my life. Though this entire year, I've been positive and held my head up. Pushed forward refusing to retreat or give once ounce of satisfaction to satan. I truly do have so very much to be thankful for, I do not doubt that one bit. I know the truth, I know my future, I know my God has me covered by His plans and purposes for me and my family. I truly rest on this knowledge.

Please pray that satan gets off my back, releases the grip he has on me and my joy is restored this Christmas season (and for the rest of my amazing life that is before me!)