D-Day

I'm asked often by family, and 'non military' friends what it is like having your husband gone. It's usually rather funny because either days earlier or weeks later they will complain that their husbands are going on a fishing trip, or have to travel for work for a few days, or even better... they have to work late tonight, and they have it so hard. I try really hard not to laugh and I really want to sympathize, but it's not easy. Sometimes I want to scream. I will try to express as best I can to express the hearts' of military wives...

This is a picture of the good times. One of my dearest and best BFF's. What a sweet kiss her husband stole at the Marine Corps Ball this year. He just left for another deployment. Another yes, less than a year ago he just got home from a 12 month deployment to Iraq, he's gone again for another 7 this time to Afghanistan. They 3 children and have been married 18 years.

This is a D-Day photo...Deployment Day. The picture tells the entire story. We met this couple over 10 years ago when our husbands were instructors together. They have 2 children and have been married over 15 years.

What does all of this mean? It means we 100% embrace the great times and 100% embrace the heart ache. A heart ache that cannot be understood by the average person and is only reserved for those that carry the title Military Spouse. We have to kiss our best friends, our babies' fathers, our lover, our mate, our everything one last time holding onto every moment of every breath as if it could be our last because none of us truly know if it is our last moment together. Our spouses do not fly to Vegas for a conference or ride to Daytona for Bike Week. They are gone for months on end, year after year. These men miss the birth of their children, anniversaries, Christmas's, 4 of July and the first day of school. They miss out on their daughters first kiss, the first time their son stood up to a bully, homemade dinners, baseball games, tea parties, teenagers with drivers permit, and new puppies.

We, the military spouses, are repeatedly told that we "were not issued with their sea bags" and are not a priority to the military. We are extra baggage. But we also know that these warriors depend on us to stand strong, carry the torch all the while we also keep the lawn mowed, cars tuned up, bills paid, house clean, laundry done, homework completed, work full time, send care packages, write letters and emails and most of all keep a level head. Especially when the family back home who never sees them falls apart and can't handle the deployment we are there... holding it all together reminding them and reassuring them that God is in control.

We cry ourselves to sleep because the pillow next to us is empty again. We shun away our tears at the dinner table when our son says, "This is Daddy's favorite meal, sure wish he was here to eat it with us." We sometimes go to Wal-Mart or the commissary with a ball cap on and dirty jeans w/ a t-shirt because we truly don't have the energy to take a shower or take care of ourselves because we so busy taking care of everyone and everything else. We build homes with blood sweat and tears, we make trips to the ER for tetanus shots, broken bones and stitches... alone. Holding it all together, praying night after night for a phone call or an email anything to tell us that another day has passed and our warrior is okay. We cringe at the sight of black cars in a friend's driveway, but we are smart enough to plan a head... we have a plan of action for the "what if". And then we pray 24/7 never to use that plan. It's not a simple fire escape route, it's my world has collapsed around me I can no longer breath plan. .

We can't tell you what's really on our hearts because if we speak we won't be able to stop. We appear fearless in the eyes of man, but God truly knows our hearts. He sees our pain, the gaping hole from the missing piece of us that only our spouse can fill. We rely completely and totally on God, it is He who carries us, walks with us and talks us thru each and every deployment.

Thank you for taking a peak into our lives. It's a small picture, but I believe an accurate one.

Housing...

Housing... Oh how I love thee!
I read many military spouse blogs, many of which are often about housing. After reading them I honestly think, surely things aren't that bad. The shoes is on the other feet now and lemme tell ya they stink. We are only in the beginning of our housing drama so I will do my duty and fill you in from time to time on our progress.

As you know we arrived on the island exactly 12 days ago. We arrived on a Friday, we had a housing meeting Monday morning. At which time they informed us that we would receive a call by the following Monday, with an offer of two houses to look at. The housing capacity is at approximately 92.6%. Translation out of the hundreds of houses we have in country, only about 3 are not lived in. We'll offer you two, then the one you don't pick will offer to the next sucker (sorry I mean Marine) and then the last one left goes to the next unlucky soul. When we submitted our housing paperwork in March, yes March. We were told the housing was at only 20%, and getting a home would be super easy and we'd get our pick. LIARS!

Moving forward to this week. On Monday, Mark went to work. If you know Mark you are aware of his cell phone abilities or rather habits. I began calling him when I woke up at 8am to make sure he answers the phone and that he keeps it w/ him. WHY would I request such a thing! Because that number is the ONLY number housing has to get in contact w/ us concerning a house. And they said they would call on Monday. In my book if you say you are going to do something, something as important as tell someone you have a HOME for them you are going to do it! Well after 2 hours of hearing nothing but Japanese on Mark's cell phone I took the bull by the horns and did something about it. Bet, you are wondering why Mark's phone is in Japanese, Duh... were in Japan and I can't figure out how to set up voicemail (not that it would even matter, Mark doesn't check that either!) Did I also fail to mention that at a later time I discovered Mark's phone was in his car turned off the entire time I was calling him! Lovely 'eh?!

Back to the bull horns... "Come on kids, we are leaving."
"Where are we going mom?"
"We are gonna find us a house!"
"Yeah, I want my own room"
"I hope it's big"
"Can we help decide too, I want to paint my room!"


So off we went. First we went to the wrong base in the wrong direction trying to find the housing office. Luckily on the said wrong base I was able to drive the wrong way into the gas station to find nice Marines laughing at me and asked them where the housing office was located. They tilted their heads to the left and replied,

"Um, Ma'am you are on the wrong base! It's over on Courtney, you are currently on Foster!"
"Okay, how do I get there?" (legitimate question right?!)
Here's my answer "blah blah blah blah blah turn right at the big crown sign, blah blah blah continue straight until you see the bull fighting ring, blah blah blah and then make a left into the gate! Got it?"
"Yep, sure do thanks" as I make a exit through the entrance.

Okay kids, lets look at the map. 90 minutes later we arrive at the housing office. Okay maybe I should tell you I didn't exactly go directly there. Bunny trails, lots and lots of bunny trails that I didn't mean to take and got me all turned around and I was lost on the island. Apparently I should have stayed in Girl Scouting longer to become more proficient in my map reading skills!

We've arrived. Praise the Lord. After sharing my nice story about our morning adventures w/ the hippie looking old dude (who did tell me he graduated HS in 1972 and has only been on the island 3 weeks) he informed me to return at 9 am tomorrow and they will have 2 houses for us to look at! Yeah, another victory for my persistence!
"Okay kids let's call Daddy!" Because a Marine wife can do nothing without her man. I was 'told' he had to be there for the housing offers. Which means I have to get a hold of him, so he can inform the unit of his early am meeting. I tried calling Mark again. Nothing by a Japanese lady talking a hundred miles a minute. But I did hear "Arigato" which means thank you right before she hung up.

Let's recap. I can't get a hold of Mark on his cell phone. I have NO other contact numbers for him. All I know is what base he works on and his unit. The phone books over here do not list unit information. What's a girl to do? Find her way right... off we shall go!

Mark works approximately 30 minutes from the base we were on (which by the way is one of the bases we should be offered a home!) Let's go kiddos. So I read the map (better this time I might add!) and off we went. We make it to Mark's base in approximately 32 minutes. Not bad, I was pretty stinkin' impressed w/ myself, and I didn't hit, run over or make a wrong turn not once. (I am patting myself on the back right now!)

Okay, now we are on Mark's base. It's a lot bigger than I had thought. Lets find some Marines, they are so good at giving directions. "Look mom, there are two!" We stop them, ask them if they know where said unit is. The look of shock and disbelief over took them. I was slightly concerned for a minute thinking... Oh crap am I on the wrong base again? I wasn't Praise the Lord. They told me right where to go, keep going straight the building will be on your right. "Thanks Marines!" And off I drove... slowly the speed is a whooping 25 kph. (translation that's about 15 MPH)

Caleb found the building. Katie found Dad's car. Seth, I think was thankful to just be there. We walked inside to be greeted by a Duty NCO. I asked for Mark, by proper rank and name of course. I got another bewildered look. He calls on the phone.
"Um, Ma'am he's in a meeting."
"Okay, can you just tell him that we came and he needs to call us!"
Seriously what I was I expecting. The Marine Corps cannot function without him, he's a very busy man with lots of responsibilities. It's okay, just make sure he calls me. A second later the door opens, "Daddy!" scream 3 little kids (who really aren't so little!)

The shock on his face was priceless. "What are you doing here babe?"
"Well, we got some news about housing and you needed to know ASAP for work and well, lets be honest! Where's your cell phone?!"
"In the car!"
I knew it... so I tell him about the meeting. He brings us behind the prison doors and we get to see his office and met his boss! Great man by the way. 20 minutes later we leave, we meaning the kids and I. Mark still had to work, remember he runs things now. We arrive home in 32 minutes, I didn't get lost once. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

I'll continue the housing saga.... stay tuned for more details.

Oh I almost forgot... bet you are wondering why I kept getting all the weird looks once I was on Mark's base. No I did not have ketchup on my shirt and yes I did have matching clothes on! It was because it's very RARE to see spouses or kids on this base. It's "working base" the only people who live on this base are single Marines who live in the barracks. And the fact it is 30 minutes from the closest base that houses families. So we were in fact... an odd site to see.

Service Star Giveaway!

I love this military spouse blogger, I've never met her but she's wonderful.

She calls herself "the Mrs."Her writing is like reading an autobiography accept she has 3 boys, her husbands a pilot and they live in the country but other than that, we are like the same (but different).

Any hoot, her mom has such pretty items on her Etsy shop. I've been oooogling over her Military Service Stars for over a year now, and she's giving another one away. Maybe this timeI'll win, put in a good word for me when you enter will ya!

If you want to enter to win one of these beauties click on the link and do what she says to do! And remember to mention my name so I get entered again! Wouldn't this look so beautiful in my new home in base housing in Okinawa Japan.... HINT HINT HINT!

http://tryingourbest.blogspot.com/2010/06/blue-star-giveaway-from-blue.html

MSgt. Mark Francis

This is the 'Gunny... '

He's now a 'Master'! I am soooo Proud of Him!

I truly am honored to be his wife, it's a privilege everyday to wake up being married to a Marine, to be his bride... his best friend. I love him, I love our life, I love our God, I love our Country and I love our Corps. I couldn't be more proud of him, Congratulations!

D-Day...and a Give Away!

Today marks the day that Dad left again. So in honor of that a fellow military spouse blogger of mine (I know her in the blogger world only) is having a give away.

Just click on this Trying Our Best, and you can register for this beautiful Give Away on My D-Day! FYI: contest is open until Friday, September 18Th at noon EST!

Here is a picture of what you can win... I love it, and her mother made it! Won't it look beautiful in my home! So if you win, please give it to me.... or not.