D-Day

I'm asked often by family, and 'non military' friends what it is like having your husband gone. It's usually rather funny because either days earlier or weeks later they will complain that their husbands are going on a fishing trip, or have to travel for work for a few days, or even better... they have to work late tonight, and they have it so hard. I try really hard not to laugh and I really want to sympathize, but it's not easy. Sometimes I want to scream. I will try to express as best I can to express the hearts' of military wives...

This is a picture of the good times. One of my dearest and best BFF's. What a sweet kiss her husband stole at the Marine Corps Ball this year. He just left for another deployment. Another yes, less than a year ago he just got home from a 12 month deployment to Iraq, he's gone again for another 7 this time to Afghanistan. They 3 children and have been married 18 years.

This is a D-Day photo...Deployment Day. The picture tells the entire story. We met this couple over 10 years ago when our husbands were instructors together. They have 2 children and have been married over 15 years.

What does all of this mean? It means we 100% embrace the great times and 100% embrace the heart ache. A heart ache that cannot be understood by the average person and is only reserved for those that carry the title Military Spouse. We have to kiss our best friends, our babies' fathers, our lover, our mate, our everything one last time holding onto every moment of every breath as if it could be our last because none of us truly know if it is our last moment together. Our spouses do not fly to Vegas for a conference or ride to Daytona for Bike Week. They are gone for months on end, year after year. These men miss the birth of their children, anniversaries, Christmas's, 4 of July and the first day of school. They miss out on their daughters first kiss, the first time their son stood up to a bully, homemade dinners, baseball games, tea parties, teenagers with drivers permit, and new puppies.

We, the military spouses, are repeatedly told that we "were not issued with their sea bags" and are not a priority to the military. We are extra baggage. But we also know that these warriors depend on us to stand strong, carry the torch all the while we also keep the lawn mowed, cars tuned up, bills paid, house clean, laundry done, homework completed, work full time, send care packages, write letters and emails and most of all keep a level head. Especially when the family back home who never sees them falls apart and can't handle the deployment we are there... holding it all together reminding them and reassuring them that God is in control.

We cry ourselves to sleep because the pillow next to us is empty again. We shun away our tears at the dinner table when our son says, "This is Daddy's favorite meal, sure wish he was here to eat it with us." We sometimes go to Wal-Mart or the commissary with a ball cap on and dirty jeans w/ a t-shirt because we truly don't have the energy to take a shower or take care of ourselves because we so busy taking care of everyone and everything else. We build homes with blood sweat and tears, we make trips to the ER for tetanus shots, broken bones and stitches... alone. Holding it all together, praying night after night for a phone call or an email anything to tell us that another day has passed and our warrior is okay. We cringe at the sight of black cars in a friend's driveway, but we are smart enough to plan a head... we have a plan of action for the "what if". And then we pray 24/7 never to use that plan. It's not a simple fire escape route, it's my world has collapsed around me I can no longer breath plan. .

We can't tell you what's really on our hearts because if we speak we won't be able to stop. We appear fearless in the eyes of man, but God truly knows our hearts. He sees our pain, the gaping hole from the missing piece of us that only our spouse can fill. We rely completely and totally on God, it is He who carries us, walks with us and talks us thru each and every deployment.

Thank you for taking a peak into our lives. It's a small picture, but I believe an accurate one.

Remembering 9-11

I guess one could say we homeschooled this weekend. I know many of you are asking... what are you talking about? Mark asked the kids if they knew what was significant about September 11. None of them had any clue as to why that day had changed America forever. After asking a simple question like, "Why are we at war in Afghanistan?" It dawned on us, Katie was not even one and the boys just 2 when 9-11 occurred, but they've been in school for the past 5 years or more. So why haven't they talked about this event. Why haven't we ever talked about this event. On one perspective I never brought it up or truly educated my children about this because I was worried how they would deal with all of Mark's deployments. I've always down played the seriousness and danger involved in his 'adventures'. I wanted them to have as normal as possible childhood, sheltering them from the harsh reality of the life we live as a military family. That all changed this weekend, Mark sat down with them and explained in detail the events of 9-11. He showed them news coverage, videos and opened up his heart as to why he does what he does for living and how important it is for the future of our Nation. As all of this was going on, I sat quietly in the other room, holding back tears. Tears for those lives that were lost because of 9-11 (past, present and future). And more tears because I could hear in the innocent voices of my children that their hearts and minds were forever changed because of that one event, that much needed conversation between them and their dad. The reality of our lives laid out to them, an open book. I felt the fear, the concern, the worry that they will for always carry with them.

We as a family will never forget, thank you to all who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our Nation's freedom, my freedom.

Streets of Okinawa

Sad to say we arrived over 10 days ago on the island of Okinawa and I have yet to post on my blog. I should be flogged but thankfully none of you can find me to do it! So lets begin from the beginning...

We arrived under the cover of darkness. Our amazing sponsors drove us to our hotel room. It was filled with goodies, lots of food! Yeah US! We hit the bed not too long after and the next 10 days have been a whirlwind of chaos, fun and sleep!
I'll recap for you in true military form:

• Had a housing meeting, told us to wait a week and see if they have anything for us!
• Still sleeping in hotel.
• Hotel is a Japanese hotel, everything is in Japanese... did you know none of us speak or read Japanese! More on that later.
• Went to the commissary, about killed us getting there we took all back roads and then were asked. Do you remember how we got here? Ummm NO!
• Went to take the drivers test! I panicked and felt like I was 16 all over again. Thankfully we passed the test!
• Went to the newcomers briefing that would explain life on the island to us and explain the "ropes" for us newbies! They took a 8 hour briefing and told it to us in 4 hours! They talked faster than a speeding bullet. What did I take away from the briefing... suicide kills, don't do it. Be very cautious of the waters they are super dangerous, and oh the scuba diving and snorkling is some of the best in the world. One more thing, don't drink and drive. They told us that about 500 times... okay I got it.
• Found my friend who was lost since elementary school... we haven't seen each other since HS. She just happens to be stationed here w/ her husband and kids. Perfect, and instant family! LOVIN' IT!
• Bought two cars in less than 24 hours. Talk about stressful... the steering wheel is on the wrong side and you are NOT allowed to test drive cars here.
• They gave me a drivers license and a car within 24 hours... in a foreign country where they all drive wrong! This make NO sense to me at all!
• Got stung by a jellyfish... should have listened more at the briefing, those waters sure are dangerous!
• Finally got some sleep, we are officially on Okinawa time.
• Got lost twice...
• Went to church twice, two different ones. Think we may have found a church home... going back next week to check it out again. Yeah, we really need to get planted somewhere.
• Boys went to Boy Scouts... loved it. Now looking for a troop closer to our home, not 45 minutes away!
• Kids swam in hotel pool too many times.
• Ate out toooooooo many times but WOOW it all tastes sooo delicious!
• Japanese TV stinks, especially when it's all in Japanese. Although the kids think Disney channel in Japanese still rocks. I am now insane... you'll find me w/ Mickey Mouse ears living in a shoe box on the corner rocking back and forth singing "won't you be my neighbor!"
• I would post more pictures but the internet will not allow me to do so. Check out our photos on Facebook.

This is a picture of us driving down the street. You can see the crystal blue water ahead. That's the China Sea... where sea creatures lurk to sting cute ladies named Colleen.

Until next time... we'll be snorkeling and cruising the streets of Okinawa in style, praying we don't get lost again!

daily life...

It's hard to believe that next week is Thanksgiving. A huge milestone for us in the deployment, that means we've put a few months behind us. We've only killed 5 appliances in the house, and sold about half the wood, but hey... it's still early! No more appliances are allowed to die, it's just not allowed. And the wood we want to keep still needs split and stacked in the back... the right way! Anyone wanna help? I'll rent a wood splitter! And I promise his name will not be "Johnny Appleseed" or Paul Bunyan! It shall be known as John Deere! Any takers... awhhh come on! I promise hot cocoa and smores over an open pit fire!

D-Day Pictures

The night Daddy left. These pix were taken at around 2:45AM, yes you read that right AM! He left in the middle of the night again. For those of you who are thinkin' crazy thoughts, those are IBC Cream Sodas... not beer. He got several strange looks that night from junior Marines, but once they realized it was cream soda they all laughed. He can't get cream soda in Iraq so he had to drink several bottles before he left. I love you Mark... God Speed and come home safe.