Pain Med Free!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Today I am free of all pain meds. Even motrin. I can't say I am painfree, but I don't need pain meds for it. I still twinge from time to time, I have an ache in my right side. I feel about 80% so things are looking up. I only cried once so far today. I am planning on jumping in the van in a bit to take some pictures. Mark and I have made some plans for my scrapbook space upstairs so I am excited to get started. Moving forward with reservations, but I am still moving forward. I am gaining ground watch out here I come. :)

Friday, May 6, 2011 3:51AM
I am awake, why am I awake? My head is aching big time. No reason why. I am tossing and turning in bed and I don't want to keep Mark up. I am ready to sleep, I am so tired. So why can't I? So many thoughts that flow thru my head revovle around the "C" word. It's a cuss word to me right now. I feel like I am using the most foul language ever when I think of the word. I want to wash my mouth out with soap. It angers me, depresses me and honestly makes me feel dirty. Stop consuming my thoughts, get out of my life, leave me alone. Damn cancer, get out, get out get out! This week is straining me so much. Why did the doctor have to tell me before he had more answers for me. It's a bad nightmare, I want to wake up and hear encouraging words. Come on Walter Reed move faster, my life is on hold because of this. I need sleep, I really need more sleep. Deep restful, encouraging, sound, life-giving sleep. Consume me sleep, consume me.